Gay Werewolves and the ExConvicts That Love Them
by Uozumi
Summary: We've all seen the icon on LiveJournal, now let's read the article...


**Title** _Gay Werewolves and the Ex-Convicts That Love Them_  
**Author** Uozumi  
**Genre** Humor/Slash  
**Rating** PG-13  
**Disclaimer** I own nothing including the icon that inspired this fanfiction.  
**Summary** We've all seen the icon (on lj) so why not read the article?

_The Quibbler_

**Gay Werewolves and the Ex-Convicts That Love Them**

an exposé

**By Madeline Ashpot**

_A_s many of you dear readers know, the infamous Sirius Black who was out after Harry Potter's life not a year ago has been cleared of charges. That of course went around _The Quibbler_ faster than you can say "Blood Pop," but what went faster was a most curious letter about Sirius Black and a former professor of Hogwarts.

Now it is not small news that Professor Remus J. Lupin is a werewolf and the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher during the school year of 1993 to 1994. Now, our sources - who I must say are quite knowledgable - shed some light onto the most intriguing pairing that _The Quibbler_ has ever had the priveldge to write. Supplied with authentic pictures and first eye witness accoutns, we are pleased to tell you of one gay werewolf and the ex-convict who he loves.

They started out innocently enough. As provided from the Hogwarts' school anual of 1971 to 1972, you can see how innocent they were. The other two boys with them in the picture are Peter Pettigrew and James Potter. According to our sources, these four boys were inseperable up until that infamous night in 1981. It's so hard to think of that very small and rountund child beside Remus Lupin to be so evil, but they do say that the quietest ones are those to watch out for. Look at the Dark Lord himself. If you remember, back in 1982 we ran an article about how much of a wolf in sheep's clothing he was ("The Dark Lord: a Vomit Flavoured Bean inside a Chocolate Frog, the Essence of Hidden Evil" _The Quibbler_ Volume 587, Issue 2, February 15, 1982).

Of course these boys grew up, and it seems that after a rather nasty tiff, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black began to conceal a hidden relationship. Our sources are not sure when this relationship began, or even if the pair knew of it at all until seventh-year, but it is quite aparent as shown by these two photographs taken from the Hogwarts school anual for the school year of 1976 to 1977. As you can see in the first, there is clearly some distance between the pair. Notice how James Potter and Peter Pettigrew look quite happy, almost older versions of the first picture, but Remus Lupin and Sirius Black look all but happy and refuse to look at each other. Now look at the second picture from the same school anual. Notice how it is solely them and how Sirius Black has an arm around Remus Lupin's shoulders, both of them smiling. Skeptics of course might point out that Sirius Black is wearing his Quidditch robes so naturally it is most likely a post-Quidditch game victory celebration, and how many people here have hugged their best friend after winning? Look carefully though at Remus Lupin in particular. We would like to point out how we don't know where his left hand is. Now true it is innocent enough, and we don't dispute that it's most likely in a relatively innocent place, but do notice that it is inside Sirius Black's outter Quidditch robe, but not under the uniform we are certain.

That of course is just ambiguous proof. If someone leaps at you and grabs you, hands can go odd places. How many of you have found yourself in an odd position with a friend due to such circumstances? We now present to you two pictures from the 1977 to 1978 Hogwarts school anual - the year that the relationship started mind you - for you to continue our proof on this relationship. According to our sources, Sirius Black was not one of the most studious in the school. If anything he and James Potter, along with Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, went around school torturing other students and pranking anyone and anything through all of their years. Observe this first picture carefully. Here are Remus Lupin and Sirius lack sitting quietly under a tree together. There is no James Potter and there is no Peter Pettigrew, and if you saw this picture without knowing the pair were part of the greatest pranksters of Hogwarts history, would you have known? Or at least even known that Sirius Black was one of the ring leaders of this gang? Precisely. None of us at _The Quibbler_ would have guess either. Now let us look at the second picture - what can we say? We shall let this picture talk for itself. What else can we add to a picture like this? Holding hands and looking around with clear paranoia is not something two very good friends do, you know. We have heard speculation that this did not come from the anual, but the photograph has been tested and our team of experts have determined that it isn't a tampered photograph and indeed not staged either.

This relationship, which we are near certain started in at least seventh-year, still goes on today. At this present time we have not seen Sirius Black in his wanted poster (shown) went up around all of Britain when he escaped in early 1993. Despite the numerous sightings during that period of time, none have captured a photograph of this ex-convict. Not only that but shortly after the spring of 1996, Remus Lupin also disappeared from the world it seems. There is of course speculation that the pair have left the country, but a wider circulating story is that one of them has died. We have not yet confirmed this of course, but the subsequent disapperance of the couple reflects such a thing. It is well-known that when a werewolf loses their love - their mate - he goes into a very dark mental state of which there is no cure. This can lead to overly self-destructive behaviour and possibly the death of the mourning werewolf. Whether this is the case or not, the staff of _The Quibbler_ do not know.

If you possibly do or have some theories, do not be afraid to write a letter to the editor! All owls and howlers to the editor pertaining to this issue of _The Quibbler_ shall appear in the September 22, 1996 issue (Volume 603 Issue 9). 

Please send your owls and your howlers to:

Milicient Blackwater  
Main Office, The Quibbler  
Liverpool, England

**The End**

I might just do pictures for this, but I'll see if I can scrape together the time for it. Also if you are the maker of the icon mentioned in the summary and do not like this fanfiction and wish it removed, I shall do so if you ask me to.

Uozumi


End file.
